(Not So) Ordinary

Recently, a friend and I were having an ordinary conversation. You see, we've both had problems with insomnia for as long as we can remember, so it's common for us to check in on one another and make sure the other is getting at least some rest. When I told my friend that I had actually been sleeping a lot better lately, he was obviously surprised and wanted to know what magic cure I had found. Sleep, for either one of us, has been so elusive for such a large part of our lives that it's something of a miracle when it comes. When I told him that I'm falling to sleep without struggle every night now that I've begun praying for others while laying in bed, he seemed amazed yet let down.

He informs me, "I'm glad you're sleeping, but that won't work for me."

"Why not?" I ask.

"Prayer is only effective if you believe."

I feel the need to remind the reader that I'm relatively new in my faith, having only attended church for a little over a year. Now here I am, face-on with a new challenge: do I let the conversation dwindle and change the subject, or make my first attempt at witnessing? I will say that again, first attempt...e-v-e-r. Well, you've probably guessed by now that I chose to witness...or try to, but I' was scared witless!

After a brief conversation, it was getting pretty late and the sweet promise of that aforementioned slumber was beckoning to me. So we agreed to continue the discussion in a few days and head off to bed. ...Or so I thought. After saying good-bye, the sheer panic of what I'd just agreed to do hit me like a category-5 hurricane! I haven't even finished reading the Bible yet! How on earth am I going to answer his questions?! If you know me at all, you know how terrified I am of making any mistakes, let alone one of this magnitude. This man is already jaded, views Christians as hypocrites, and thinks that God has given up on us. What if I say the wrong thing and push him even further away from our glorious Savior? Can we say "panic attack"?

Before I can feel comfortable heading to bed, I send out an S.O.S. to a dear friend of mine and another to one of our Pastors. I'm quite literally anxiety ridden at this point and am hoping for them to send me some sort of guidebook, manual, or miracle statement before the chat-date arrives. With only a day and a half to prepare myself, I was going to have to do some serious cramming! So, I sit there staring at my screen, waiting, and listening for that blessed chime to ring, alerting me that I've got mail.

*CHRING*

Yes! They've responded -- I'm saved! ... Think again, chica. They both mailed me back, saying pretty much the same thing. "YOU have no pressure because God's word says, "one plants, another waters, but GOD gives the increase" ....He may use your words to lead this friend to Christ but this is His responsibility..." Now what?! Yes, it's God's responsibility and I trust HIM, but I don't trust myself to hear His voice over the clamoring of thought & panic in my own mind!

Ok girl, calm yourself. You just need to plant seeds. His salvation doesn't rest in your hands, it rests in God's. "You just need to plant the seed." I can handle that much, right? Seeds...seeds... ....where did I put my seeds!?!

Thankfully (for me), something came up & my friend wasn't able to make our chat-date date. Maybe God just knew I wasn't ready? But the following day (yesterday, actually), I bump into my Pastor while running some errands & he gives me a book called "Becoming a Contagious Christian" by Bill Hybels & Mark Mittenberg. I'm only into Chapter Two and already had something speak to me.

In a section about the personal rewards of witnessing, the authors say:

"God gets great pleasure from sending His agents on secret reconnaissance missions with personal instructions no one else knows about. He loves to stretch us beyond our comfort zones and challenge us to take risks on the front lines of His Kingdom-advancement enterprises. He delights in giving us action-on-the-edge where, with white knuckles, we'll cling to Him as He takes us on the spiritual ride of our lives. The thrilling part is that He does this to help us grow as well as to spread His love to more and more wayward people."

So here I am, asking why He would trust me with this task right now. Why so soon into my spiritual walk would He put this on my plate? Why, when I'm still struggling to learn to hear His voice, to read and understand His word, and to learn to walk His path in all aspects of my life? Then that one paragraph jumps right out and smacks me in the face. It stings! Maybe He's put this task in front of me to help ME grow as well! Maybe He's forcing me to dig deeper and pray harder to find the answers to my own questions so that I can, in turn, help lead my friend to Him. I need to make sure that the seeds sown in me have not been thrown on rocky soil, eaten by birds, burned by the sun, or choked by thorns, before I can bear fruit for Him.

Among the blessings I'm finding in this book are my Pastor's notes. You see, this was a study book from his college days & is filled with notes, commentary, and outlines in the margins. He may not have realized it then, but God was using his scribbled notes to speak to me all these years later. One of his comments reads: "Look for God to transform the ordinary into an extra-ordinary faith-adventure." And I believe that is exactly the type of journey He has in store for me -- discovering my own path as I help my friend embark on his.